Monday, January 21, 2013

There's Just No Telling When They'll Come!

I have always been an emotional person.  I remember well my Mother's voice through all my growing years "Don't fly so high Miranda, it'll hurt so much more when you fall."
Well I never was able to find the line of moderation - it was either up or down for me :)
Despite this I have never been one to cry.  Oh I cried from time to time.  Occasionally it was even quite extreme.  Mostly it would only have been a few little tears at the corners with maybe one or two escaping.

Pregnancy has changed everything.

Now the tears come like the rain.  

I remember crying with my first pregnancy but it was very seldom.  The most vivid moment I recall is when I broke the lid to my slow cooker.  I sat on the floor and cried like it was a very big deal - because you know, it was!  

I don't remember crying much with the second pregnancy.  I think I was too busy trying to keep my eyes open from all the sleepless nights with Chloe.  If I did cry I certainly can't remember it!

With the third it all changed.  I don't know what happened exactly but all of a sudden I was crying a lot.  And not just little tears, but the really awful ones that leave you with a headache and your husband doubled over in laughter.  Yes in laughter!  He seems to find it highly amusing when his sweet, normally very untearful, starts crying over really unsad matters.  I think Chloe has inherited his ability to laugh when others are crying.  One afternoon something made me cry, can't exactly remember what, but you'd have thought my best friend was moving away.  I just couldn't stop.  Chloe had been resting in her bed and she came out and saw me.  She would have been about 3 1/2.  All of a sudden she is (forcing herself) laughing and giggling.  When I could finally ask her why she was laughing when I was so sad she said "I'm just trying to make you happy Mom."  

I was really hoping that it would be different this time around.  I find it very hard to cry so much.  It gives a headache.  It's irrational (there's usually never a good reason for setting me off), it's very out of character for me.  I gave TR a good lecture on how he was to handle it if I did get quite emotional - "You will NOT laugh.  You will pretend I have a good reason for crying!"  Of course it didn't take very long and I realized that this pregnancy is behaving much like Kara's.  The first time it happened we were sitting on the couch watching a Christmas movie.  It wasn't sad. It wasn't a particularly happy moment either.  Nothing emotional whatsoever about the scene.  And they came.  As soon as I realized they were coming I rushed upstairs to avoid my husbands laughter.  When I could finally compose myself I went and sat down beside him again.  Well as soon as he looked at me and asked if I was okay I started again.  And he laughed.  

I have to admit that it is a little funny - and having him laughing does help me to have a good perspective on the tears.  I smile when I think of how silly I must look, crying at such odd times :)  All the same I will be very happy to have regular, normal for me, emotions once again.  But for now I'll just stock up on tissues and hope that strangers who see my red eyes will understand.


  1. oh dear! yes pregnancy gets us quite emotional. I suppose what else is TR to do with his normally composed wife?!

    1. O that is too funny.....I mean sad....that the tears come so easily, I am amazed that he actually laughs out loud! not much couth!!!


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