Monday, January 14, 2013

Putting Fear to Rest

One of the problems of changes we've made and doing things differently than what most of society considers normal is that whole "fear factor".  There is a certain amount of comfort and saftey in following doctors orders.  If you eat what they say and do what they say, if you take all the tests that they suggest and follow the popular pregnancy books than you will have a healthy pregnancy and baby and all will be well.  If something does happen to go wrong than it must be because they gave you bad advice, but it certainly was nothing you could have prevented.

A few years ago I lost my faith in doctors.  In fact my first thought now when a doctor suggests something to me is "they must be wrong".  I understand that there may be exceptions to this (and believe me, my mother and I used to have slightly heated discussions about this!) but for the most part I have come to think that doctors make assumptions, are quick to diagnose and hand out the prescriptions, and know next to nothing about true health and healing for the body.  I have not been to the doctor much in the last few years and there is one here that I trust more than others, and another that I absolutely would never trust.  I know that there are good doctors - so please don't misunderstand me and think I have something against them.  I don't.  But I do think that their education is lacking and therefore I am distrustful.  I've had a doctor tell me that my husband would be on prescription drugs his whole life, could expect to battle great pain and changing his diet would not produce good enough results to warrant changing anything.  I've had a doctor write me a prescription for my daughter who had an odd diaper rash because he was convinced she had an allergic reaction to a cat even though the rash had shown up days before she had been near a cat.  I've had a prescription written out for antibiotics for an infection that I might have, that I should start taking before I got the results.  I never did take the antibiotics and I never did have the infection confirmed (it was tested, but they never called with the results).  I tried a few natural remedies and I was just fine.  I've asked a doctor if it was okay for my husband to take large amounts of alfafa and the doctor wasn't quite sure what alfafa really was.

Okay, so I tell you all that just so that you can understand a little - not to belittle doctors.  Doctors do save lives in this country and if ever I was in an accident of some sort I would be very grateful for their help.  I just don't think that they know much about healthy living and eating and the dangers of prescription drugs.

With such a distrust in doctors comes a great desire to do my own research.  I am still learning things all the time, but if I can't trust a doctor and I have no natural doctor to consult than how am I to know what to do when my family gets sick?  And with that comes fear.  Fear that I am going to make a mistake.  That I'm going to learn something too late.  In a lot of ways I feel as though my entire family's health is resting on my shoulders.  It is a great responsibility and lately it has been causing me great amounts of stress.  I am tired of learning new things.  Tired of making changes.  Tired of going against the flow.  Tired of questioning and wondering whose voice to follow.  Should I believe this source, or this one?  *sigh*

Some days my only comfort is that this world is not my home.   How thankful I am that one day our bodies will be perfect!  No more GMO.  No more pesticides.  No more harmful toxins in the air and water.  No more digestive disorders.  No more passing up food in the potluck line because we can't eat it anymore.  No more outbursts from my daughter when she has to drink more probiotics or try something new.  No more fatigue and pain for TR.  No more fear that I will eat and breath the wrong things and harm my unborn baby.

But I am slowly coming to realize that I don't have to just "get through" this life in anticipation for heaven.  The verse that I love just keeps coming back to me "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." Psalm 20:7.  Trusting in my own knowledge is foolish and silly.  My trust needs to be in God.  Not in research, not in natural doctors, not in herbal remedies.  My family's health is in His hands and I have to trust that just as He guided me in the beginning of this journey - so He will continue to lead me on.  I can't learn it all at once, but I can learn a little at a time and do what I can for my family.  But ultimately He is still the one who calmed the waves, who healed the leper and the blind.  My kids memory verse this month is "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, cast out demons.  Freely you have received.  Freely give." Matthew 10:8.  Jesus is talking to the disciples who are about to go out into the towns and preach and heal.  As much as I need to take a pro-active approach to our health, He is the one who heals!  He is the one who heals!!  Jesus never asked that we carry our burdens alone.  I think it's time for me to lay my burden down and rest at His feet for a while.  This song is so inspiring to me and I will often sing it when I need a reminder of the greatness and power of our God.

Water you turned into wine, 
opened the eyes of the blind
 there's no one like you, none like You!
Into the darkness you shine
 out of the ashes we rise
 there's no one like you none like You!
Our God is greater, our God is stronger,
 God you are higher than any other.
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!


  1. I just love hearing about your journey!!

  2. I hate the feeling of inadequacy, everytime I turn around I'm learning something new. it gets so overwhelming. but we can only do our best.

    1. exactly. I love that I can share this journey with you Leanne!


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