Not My Baby Anymore

One of the sad realizations about having another baby is that your current baby is no longer your baby.  I'm not sure what it would be like once your family is complete and there are no new baby's, or what it would be like to have a large age gap between children.  After all - all baby's grow up, even if there are no new ones behind them.  But there is something about bringing home a new baby that makes your youngest seem to age immensely in about 3 seconds.  All of my children have been 2 years old when another baby has been born - and all of a sudden - they seem so much bigger.

And it's sad.

Here's a few pictures of my sweet little Kara Rose.  The cradle was built by my Dad for Kara and it sits in her room.  The other day she was feeling a little sad about something and she wanted to go in there.  So I tucked her in and she cried for a little while and then she wanted to come out and was happy again.  What a sweet silly babe . . . 

Putting the Toys Out of Reach

 I can recall a time I wanted more toys.  Not for me - but for my delightful little sweetheart who was always clinging to my legs.  Without any siblings to play with I was her only companion.  I had hopes that if we had enough toys I might once again be able to wash the dishes.

 A great way to keep Chloe entertained :)

Things have changed since that day. 

I now have three children who play with each other and keep each other occupied.  And I've discovered to my dismay . . .

WE HAVE TOO MANY TOYS!!!!!

Way too many.  Like piles and piles too many.  Over the last year and a half or so I have been trying to downsize our toys but find that it is like trying to ride a bike uphill.  They have birthdays.  They receive gifts at Christmas.  We find great deals at yard sales.  And some toys are really great to keep.  They do serve a purpose and I just can't quite get rid of them.  It doesn't help that we are now homeschooling and there are so many wonderful educational toys I have my eyes on.

But really, when I think about it and try to not let my mother's heart be swayed with "my kids would have so much fun with this", I realize that the less toys they have, the happier they play.  The happier we all are.  There is less to clean up.  Less to organize.  More room for imagination and creative play.  I once saw a blog that had pictures of a beautifully set up toy room.  This room had it ALL.  Toys and crafts lined the walls in a very organized and orderly way.   It was like a dream.  For a few seconds I thought how wonderful that might be.  But I am also realistic enough to remember that I struggle greatly with maintaining order and organization.  Keeping on top of messes is beyond my natural abilities.  I have to make an effort and am learning more all the time about what it takes to keep a house from complete chaos.  I have a feeling that a room like that in my house would be a constant source of frustration and despair.  And I also believe that while it might be fun for the parent and the child to have access to so many wonderful toys and crafts and ways of creative playing, it is no substitute for having less.  I think that having too much can be a crutch for a child.  Less means they have to be more creative.  More imaginative.  They learn to share.  I have been tempted at times to purchase three of something just so we don't have fighting - and while this is fine for some things like the hockey sticks they all got last Christmas, it isn't necessary for a lot of things and gives them great opportunities to learn compromise and wait their turn.

I love the creative ways they come up with to entertain themselves! They thought

of adding rubber bands to the puzzle for a guitar - and anything can 

become a mik :)

So while I have gotten rid of a lot of their toys there are others that I still want to keep.  But the amount of toys we had was driving me to extreme distraction.  Mess all the time.  Everywhere!  Trying to stay on top of the cleanup was just too much for me.  My children are still small and while they are getting better at cleaning up it is still mostly me who does it.  And if I'm not actually doing it, I'm standing there directing and ensuring that they are doing it.   And then I decided.  NO MORE!

We have a closet downstairs that now probably has over half of the kids toys.  They have some in their room and some downstairs to play with - but the toys in the closet are off limits.  They have to ask if they want something and lots of times the answer is "no".  It is a special treat to get those toys.  Most of the time they actually forget that they're there and don't ask.  Often if they clean everything else up they are allowed to get something out.  And then on those days when we're a little stir crazy we pull something out of the closet and it's like the toy is brand new!  It's wonderful!  It has saved my sanity, I am sure of it! Sometimes we'll trade things around and put toys that they're not as interested in in the cupboard and take something else out that they can have for a while.  I've noticed that they play so much better.  Before they would just take a toy out and not really play with it, they would just scatter them all over the house.  Now when we take toys out they play with them and it's fun for them and easier to clean up.  


My house still gets messy.  There are moments when I'm sure we're in complete chaos.  It's still hard to get the kids to clean up.  But it's way better than it used to be and I'm so thankful!

Besides . . . who needs tons of toys to play with when there's socks to put on?

I'm Sure Spring is Nearly Here!!!

I have always been one to feel a little blue this time of year.  I  wouldn't call it depression, but just blue.  I am the person who needs Spring!! And I wait for it with great eagerness and anticipation!!

In the past few years I've combated these last few months of Winter with making an effort to go outside.  A few years ago I was babysitting a small boy and I remember that Winter being very hard.  I only had a car back then and with two children of my own and no way to fit a third car seat in the there we just had to stay home.  Even errands like grocery shopping had to wait.  Being cooped up for several months during a time of year I already find a little difficult was  . . . well . . . difficult :)  After a while I realized that I needed to actually do something about this so I bundled up the three little ones (almost 3, almost 1 and 18 months) and braved the outdoors!  Chloe walked and the younger two rode on a sled with the 18 month walking sometimes.   I had to put Benjamin in a booster seat (on top of the sled) that had a back on it so he wouldn't fall out of the sled.  We walked to the nearby parent link center sometimes.  Sometimes we would borrow toys from them and that helped when we were at home.  It gave the kids something new to play with for a while.  But mostly we just walked.  The kids loved it and it was great for me to get out of the house and breathing some fresh air.

The winter after that we had to brave the cold again to put some smiles in the air - only this time I realized that poor Benjamin did not like going for walks!  He would scream if I put him  in the sled and would only be okay if I held him (perhaps he remembered the time he fell out of the sled the previous winter?).  By this time he was nearly 2 and not that easy to carry!  On top of that I was pregnant and easily tired.  So our jaunts outside were mostly Chloe and me outside in our yard while Ben slept.

The winter after that I had a small babe and I would bundle her up in a wrap and wear TR's jacket over top of us both.  Then we'd go out walking.  Ben was fine with the sled this year and even loved to get out and walk.  We had some slow ambles as everything is interesting to investigate (even snow clumps!).  And there were moments when we'd have to stop and watch all the interesting street cleaning going on.  But it wasn't the exercise so much as the change of scenery, the birds, the air - just being outside.

It's so therapeutic for me.  In the summer we pretty much live outside and I find it hard to be indoors so much in the winter.  Yesterday I was so very tired and it wasn't a good time  to nap.  I bundled up the older two as Kara was napping and we all went outside for a bit.  I fed the bunnies, carried out the compost, shoveled out swings so the kids could play on them, breathed in the air.   By the time I came in I was ready again to face the tasks ahead of me without too many yawns :) I'm so thankful that the weather has been warmer this week and we can enjoy being outdoors!

1st Time Skating

Yesterday was a very exciting day for my Chloe - she went skating for the very first time!  About a month and a half ago I was in a second hand store and I looked at the skates with her foot size in mind but I really wanted to buy her hockey skates and not figure skates and either they didn't have any or I changed my mind (I can't actually remember why I didn't end up buying any!) I think I was also hesitant because I didn't want to buy her something that she would never use.  TR owns skates but is usually so busy in the winter working that he has never skated much.

We ended up going skating with some friends of ours and I began to wonder if maybe she would appreciate some skates.  So when I was back at the second hand store last week I looked and to my excitement, not only did they have a pair that I thought would fit Chloe, but it was also 50% off!  So I paid $3 for the pair.  I thought that even if she had no interest in them I wouldn't be out much money at all.

Was I ever in for a surprise!

She absolutely LOVED the skates.  She put them on in the porch and kept them on for 15 minutes sometimes. 

She would wake up in the morning and rush to try on her skates again.  She would ask and ask again for us to take her skating.  I was supposed to go to a woman's retreat on Saturday but TR ended up working and I had to stay home.  On Friday night she didn't know yet that TR was not going to be home with them the next day and went to bed so excited because Daddy was going to take her to the "skating park" the next day.  I think it was almost all she thought about!  I couldn't take her skating on Saturday, but on Sunday it finally worked to go!

We went with my sister and her boyfriend, Mark.  TR didn't skate as he was very tired that day - he got to watch Kara and Benjamin play all over the bleachers :)  Mark is a good skater and he was so kind and patient and taught Chloe how to skate! 

It was so precious to watch.  She had this serious expression on her face and was so intent on concentrating on learning.  She fell a few times, but nothing serious or painful (I was so thankful for that!).  She did not want to stop and we ended up being there for over an hour. 

She didn't complain once that her feet hurt or that she was tired.  By the end she was pushing her support away and skating to it, and even skating towards Mark without any help.  I was so proud of her!  I have come to realize that when she wants to do something she goes hard core for it.  With the same enthusiasm and determination that she is learning to swim, is the same as when she was learning to skate yesterday.

Even Benjamin got to skate! Although I think he had more fun falling down on purpose! Silly boy :)

These Moments Make Me Smile :)

As a Mom I have front row seats to some of the best moments!  For example:

• Benjamin says "My tummy really wants to go downstairs and play."  Everything is according to his tummy these days!  "My tummy wants to have friends over."  "My tummy doesn't want to go to bed."  Cracks me up!!!

• Chloe playing the piano and making up her own song all about Jesus.  So sweet :)  Watching her excel in her swimming lessons and her excitement over what she's learning to do!  I love sharing in her joy!  

• And of course there's Kara Rose!  What can I say about Kara?!  How about this morning I was a little upset with her and Ben because they had gotten into a bag of garbage that was just waiting to go out and spread it around their room that I had just cleaned.  Thankfully the garbage wasn't kitchen or bathroom garbage! Kara had to chime her two cents in "Ben! No garbage!" And she points to all the garbage and speaks very sternly!  As if she hadn't been in on the whole thing with him! Such a little Mama that one!  And lately she has taken to growling and trying to scare people!

Being a Mom is such a blessing and I'm so thankful to be here for all these moments with them!  Of course I'm the first to admit that a one way ticket for one sounds good in some moments - but thankfully I love my little munchkins and God sees me through those trying moments.  And I have all sorts of wonderful memories to carry me through :)    

A Mother's Perspective

Maybe it's because I'm a Mom, or maybe it's because I'm a pregnant Mom, whatever the case I am finding it difficult to read certain stories without tears.

I think I have known about Moses all my life.  I'm sure I knew about it in the womb from listening to my older siblings learning about Moses.  I can't remember a time when I didn't know how he was placed in a basket and put upon the water with his older sister watching over him.

But something has changed . . . now I'm a Mom and I saw the story in a totally different light.  The other day I was reading to the kids and I found myself tearing up.  I cannot imagine the pain and suffering that must have been felt by Moses' mother.  To hide him for 3 months.  To endure the death of her friends' baby boys.  To hear the sorrow of her friends as they struggled with empty arms and engorgement.  Then to lovingly build the basket for her son.  I was picturing her tears falling upon her work while she tried so hard to be brave and believe that God had a plan for her son.  Did she just know that she had to put him in the basket?  Was she hoping to go down every night and feed him and change his soiled bottom and hold him close before putting him back again?

I look at my own son and wonder what kind of strength she had to put him upon the water - trusting completely in God.

We all know that the story ended well.  Moses gets saved and even gets to be with his family for a few years before going to live at the palace.  His Mother gets the chance to hold him close (and even get paid for doing so!).   But I'm sure at the time of hiding him, building the basket and placing him on the water were some of the hardest most trying moments for her.  What an amazing God we serve!  He chose a boy who had been saved in a miraculous way to become the leader who would lead His people out of Egypt.

But now that I'm a Mom I can't help but think about Moses Mom.  And now that I'm pregnant I must admit the tears come much more than I (or my kids!) are used to.  But I think that's okay.  What a wonderful gift that after all the years of knowing the story I can see it again in a very fresh way.